Welcome to the Green Rover

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This isn’t my first post, actually it’s about the 20th so I’ve been at this site for just over a month now. I just thought I’d go back and edit the very first post that the site published automatically when I set it up. Make it look snazzy and all and at least gain some remnants of professionalism.

So welcome to the Green rover. You’ll find most posts are like this one, beginning with a shaky start that confuses the reader and assaults their liberties. Yet they march on like a blind dolt. I’ve found that posting an image in the blog helps it look better as an icon and would therefore garnish much more clicks.

So here’s a random photo of a place near where I live called Banagher Dam.

 

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I took that photo in the summer of 2016. I’d been having difficulty sleeping, fucking up my sleep pattern so I’d find myself staying up all night and sleeping on through to the late afternoon. On this day I found myself going on a familiar walk in the middle of the night. It was a long fucking walk too, about six or so miles to and from the dam.

When I got there dawn had broke, but it hadn’t yet climbed it’s way over the mountains. So I climbed across the dam and got the camera set up on the tiny shore along the water and…well, that’s it. It was a shite year.

Don’t bother asking what kind of lens or whatever fucking thing I used. I know fuck all about cameras. Oh, yeah that whole life story shite you just read? Yeah that’s basically in most of the blog posts. Mainly the reviews, when I have something that’s actually fucking interesting or serious then I usually keep the personal shit out of it. However when it comes to Joyce I felt that the man was such a dull fuck that I’d be better off talking about me for ten or so minutes.

I’ve been told by a certain big fat liar with a poor sense of humor that my personal stories are the best part of the blog but y’know, he’s a big fat liar with a poor sense of humor so what the fuck does he know?

Ah yes, swearwords.

I’m very fond of swearing. In fact I swear too much. Personally I blame my father for that, the rest of my vices are homegrown or beaten into me by my sister.

So just as a precaution from here on out if you’re interested in reading I’m very fond of using the words “Fuck” and “Shit” and my personal favourite “Cunt” which are usually accompanied by what we’d refer to as “violent sexual imagery” so I just wanted to make sure no one would be terribly offended by that.

Yes, I stole that from the Thick of It. But I’ll usually post a link to the original joke, or if I’m talking about a certain topic that reminds me of a song or something funny then I’ll tag a link in the post as well. When I’m talking about real shit I’ll use my links in reference to the articles that I, well, referenced as my research.

So the blog is a little weird. I mean I’m going to be writing about history, science, philosophy and the polarizing subjects such as politics in both the world and my native land in Northern Ireland. But I’ll also be writing about the dumb stuff like super heroes, book reviews, adverts for whatever work I’m doing and so on. It’s a weird fucking blog where I’ll talk about whatever the fuck I like.

I’ll often go on tangents in my reviews, talking abut a seemingly unrelated story or analyzing the similarities that I see in something. Such as the bizarreness of this introductory post and my theory about Billy, the bully from season two of Stranger Things.

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So I have this theory about blue denim jackets, there’s been no scientific research as of yet but take this as a hypothesis, if you will. My theory is that anyone who wears a blue denim jacket subconsciously wants the cock. They just do. Doesn’t matter if they’re a man or a woman, if they have a blue denim jacket on ’em then they subconsciously want the cock. Hell, they might not even realise they want the cock but their subconscious knows they want the cock.

My theory also states that the degree of thirstiness for the cock can be shown by the specific shade of the blue denim jacket. If it’s a dark blue then its not a serious thirst, more like a slight parched feeling or a dry mouth. However if it’s a really light blue (like the jacket above) then the person is absolutely dying for the cock. So the next time you’re out and about keep a look out for people wearing blue denim jackets, you’ll find there’s quite a lot of them- men and women.

But yeah, my theory is that Billy is a Closet Homosexual.

Now there’s nothing wrong with being gay or more importantly being a gay person that’s still in the closet. Some people just want to come out when they feel comfortable and not a second more and that’s fine. I get it it, it’s really daunting. Especially in Northern Ireland, where one of the major political parties are just flat out bigoted cunts that prevent the legalisation of Gay Marriage- even when the Republic of Ireland and the rest of the fucking UK has it legalised.

So there’s undoubtedly a lot of cunts out there and some of these cunts may be your neighbors, friends or family and that fucking sucks. But it get’s better. Or at least that’s what I’ve heard. I’m not a gay person so I’ve never had Gay sex. I don’t think it’s a sin, in fact from what I’ve heard about- it sounds like great craic.

But yeah Billy is a closet Homosexual. And no, this isn’t my only piece of evidence to suggest that Billy is fond of the cock. I mean it certainly helped start me off but it’s not the only clue.

Now Billy is the bully in Stranger Things, him and his step sister Max moved from California to the small town of Hawkins when the show starts and he has some anger issues. He takes most of it out on his step sister and the younger kids, but often times he’ll take it out on women in his sexual conquests. One of the weirder releases of that anger is the rivalry the show has between Billy and Steve.

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Like when its started out I thought it was just your typical jock-pissing-contest, with Billy being the new guy he’s going to pick on the biggest guy in the yard; Steve. But the relationship/rivalry dynamic is weird. Like most of their scenes are them playing basketball together and Billy keeps tripping Steve up so I thought “Oh, he’s goading him up for a fight” but then Billy is giving him advice on how to play basketball and they’re in the shower together talking about his love life (probably just bullying but it’s still petty fucking weird) and Billy is always fucking shirtless around Steve and…I don’t know.

I think Billy is a confused kid. He doesn’t want to fight Steve, he wants to fuck Steve.

It doesn’t help with Billy’s dad, like all Bullies’ father’s, being an abusive cunt. Internalizing him with misogyny, homophobia and possibly racism- all that hate, all that anger- of course he’s going to lash out.

So Billy isn’t a really fleshed out character, in fact if I were to be critical of the season he’s actually not really contingent to the story. I mean he’s just there to be an asshole, and no one likes playing an asshole.

Hopefully they flesh him out a little more in Season 3, give him a redemption arc like Steve. He could confront his dad or apologize to those he’s wronged- or even come to terms with his sexuality. Yeah that’d be cool.

I mean, he is gay, right? Just look at him:

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He works out, is overtly masculine- which can be seen by the mullet and his cool car,trying to over compensate for something- like “I’m so goddamn straight I’m going to start fights for no reason- cause I’m comfortable with my sexual identity-Yeah!“, barely wears a shirt and he shaves his chest. C’mon- He’s gay, get over it.

But yeah I’ll go on tangents like that for most of the blog. It’s a little weird, I know.

For politics I’ll usually try and ground it in where I live. Like in the Russian Troll Farm story I talked about how this emergence of paying people to spread false news and create a fake consensus could lead to negative effects in both the large political world and the small political world.

I’m an Irish Nationalist so I’m going to be barking on about “A United Ireland” and Brexit for the most part. I’ll probably make some jokes about the current US president while I’m at it. Unlike American Nationalists, Irish Nationalists are far more Left Wing. We have to be- considering our opposition (Loyalists/Unionists) are like the American Tea Party- a bunch of fucking lunatics.

So I’m a Liberal Degenerate, that’s the best way of describing me.

If you want to contact me click here to send me an email and click here to read the about me page, if you’re a fan of Huckleberry Finn it ought to make you chuckle. That’s it really. That’s theĀ  blog, that’s what it’s like.

I’m also poor at endings. But do you know what’s not poor? Thor Ragnarok.

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It was great. It’s directed by New Zealander Taiki Waitti- same guy who made “What we do in the Shadows” and it’s just great. There’s a lot of Aussies in it as well. Chris Hemsworth, Cate Blanchett, Karl Urban- it’s just great, undoubtedly the best Thor movie.

Only issue with it was some of the jokes were kind of off. Like that’s the main issue with Marvel- they try to be too funny. Even when it’s unnecessary. There’s a time for laughter and there’s a time for the real dramatic shit and it’s a fine line between the two. Hopefully they learn that lesson for Infinity War.

DC had some issues and they thought “Oh let’s spend Millions of Dollars on re-shoots so we can make it funnier- ooh, I know- lets get Joss fucking Whedon in here as well” Like- no. No. That’s not the problem, no one was complaining that Batman V Superman was fairly shit because it wasn’t funny. They were complaining about it because of inconsistencies in the story line line, it being overly complex, lack of genuine character motivation and the simple fact that the theatrical release edited out half an hour that was integral to the story of the movie.

Like in that half hour you established that Gotham and Metropolis were sister cities separated by a bay- that’s important to the film. You established that Clark did some legit journalism work in researching Batman’s brutality- that’s important to the film. You established that Lois figured out the intricacies of the “Terrorist Bomber” in congress- that’s important to the film.

It’s not the lack of humor or the fact that the universe is “too dark“- it’s the fact that studios are overbearing, not letting directors tell the story they want their own way. It’s poor writing, poor editing and the feeling that things have been rushed that alienates both fans and general audiences alike.

They have to understand that good films make money, and good films take time. But it’ll be worth it. Believe me.

 

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